That’s right folks, somehow I managed to get myself knocked up, by accident, at the ripe old age of 41. This is baffling to me on so many levels. The first of which is, that we were not trying, at all.
We are a historically under-fertile couple. Back when I was 34, “experts” told us we had a .05% chance of getting pregnant naturally. With the help of my amazing acupuncturist, we eventually did, but it took a while.
I am in the midst of peri-menopause. My hormones have been in decline for a few years, getting ready for that old pause in the meno. On my way out, expiring, heading towards old-ladydom, that’s me.
The single-kid thing has always been fine by us. I am not one of those people who looks over at the parent with two kids and thinks How lovely! or Maybe someday… No, I look at that mom with one in the Bjorn and another in the stroller, and think: That poor woman or What a pain in the ass.
We were done, diapers and baby-proofing are distant memories. Quit while you’re ahead we’ve always said. We already have one great kid, why spoil a good thing? Plus, it’s cheaper.
At restaurants, our adorable, well behaved child sits quietly between us, and politely engages in our adult conversation. I watch as the parents of multiple children struggle to maintain order and enjoy their meal. Smiling at my husband, I think to myself: Well, aren’t we just the smartest couple here. Just not smart enough to use a condom.
So how did this happen and what does it mean? Well, I know how it happened, technically, I just can’t fathom how it actually came to fruition.
What does it mean? It means we have to completely re-arrange our world view, our life plans, our furniture. Fortunately, Shane and I have not been great about making life plans, so that’s one issue taken care of already.
It means I might eat chicken. Once, during my last pregnancy I found myself standing outside the Gourmet Garage on 7th Avenue devouring a whole (cooked) chicken breast with my bare hands. All bets are off.
It also means that The Steady Table might be on hiatus for a little while. During those dark days, those awful newborn weeks, which people who have more than one kid on purpose seem to forget about between pregnancies.
What if it’s a boy? I don’t like super heroes, video games, guns, aggressive stuff, banging, yelling, screaming or any other loud noises. I don’t know anything about little penises. And man-oh-man, I really don’t like screaming.
I’m sure I sound cold and ungrateful, but I don’t mean to. I struggled with infertility once, I know how it feels. Who am I to scoff at an unexpected baby surprise? It’s just that it’s not what I had in mind. Feeling like shit 24/7 for the past 8 weeks didn’t help either.
I will eventually embrace this pregnancy. It’s pretty much impossible to deny that it was meant to be, the way it happened against all odds. Some little soul, out there in the ether, decided it would be nice to be a part of our family. We’re a pretty fun family, after all.
If everything goes according to plan, this baby’s going to pop out—quickly and painlessly, please!—in early to mid-December. And in spite of everything, I’m going to love it like crazy. We all will. Even if it’s a boy.
Also, this is what we had for dinner:
Congratulations! This is truly wonderful news! I’m so happy for you three! More of you guys is a really good thing for the whole world. You’ll see. I can’t wait! xxoo
Wow. Well, having one child sort of raises your fertility, so to speak. I have several friends who struggled to get pregnant the first time and then had “accidents” later. (My mom was one of those, too.) I would have mixed feelings, too, but then I was terrified the first time. It will all work out.
Uh, the Leslie comment was me. Not sure how that happened!
Oh Nina you brought tears to my eyes – mostly laughter but joy too! I wish you a healthy pregnancy and birth and loads of love with two. And can tell you all about raising a boy in an anti-violence in any form (video games, tv, superheroes – Aack!!) home. It still seeps in yet he is sweet and sensitive, while running away from me yelling “dude, whatever ” (I think that’s 7 + school not just boy, but . . . ) And as for the penis – peepee teepees sums it up ;) Much love, and luck!
PS I love seeing what you have for dinner!
Congratulations. Little boys are actually fascinating. I’ve learned a lot in the past few years about the whole superhero/violence thing and the archetypical and profound issues these obsessions help them work through. But boy or girl… that is going to be one lucky and well-fed kid.
Wow! Congratulations!… when you get out of the shock pause. I thought you seemed different past few times I saw you and yesterday at school (i went to pick EN up upon request), Rose smiled at me in a different way, a somewhat pleased/proud way. Does she know yet? EN “knew” 2weeks before i officially found out we were pregnant with MR. I am very sure you all will be great with an addition. There are really loud girls too, with their screeching ear drum piercing high pitch scream. That drives be nuts. I remembered when 4months pregnant with MR, we went on a road trip. Lunching midway, EN needed to go to the bathroom…then I realized I will be the one doing the public toilet thing for another many years more. I pouted. Hope you feel better soon, and able to start enjoying this pregnancy. Woohoo! More babies! :-)
Thank you for a wonderf post – it contained all aspects of what we feel and worry when unexpected big events, such as
having a child, happen in life. Your best words , post worry words,
have to be “and I’m going to love it like crazy. We all will.”…
And yes, yes, yes, we will. Love you much – kisses to Shane and Rose and the furrys
H. F. S.
I really am gobsmacked! I think little Cal let the word get out into the ether that you guys are rad. Also, Quinton does not like sports… at all… he just reminded our neighbors of that and confirmed with them that he only likes dance and fashion. He’s not really a yeller. He has no patience nor does he grok video games and I think as far as super heroes he thinks of Katy Perry, his Kinder teacher and Cristobal Balenciaga. (Insert curse words here) Nina! And then there were four of you! xoxoxoxoxoxox!
Awwww. Congratulations to you all.
Thanks everyone! So great to get so much love and support. And wow, am I sure covered if it ends up being a boy. xxoo
Congratulations to the three of you!
Just after I read your post this morning, Patrick came in and started yelling about his penis, picking noses and butts. Then, he made up a song where you pick your nose, then your butt and then slap a penis (could be any penis, I was informed). The performance of the song was so fucking loud that Lisa had to leave the room due to her migraine headache. Then, he has the cheek to say that he is banning me from singing in the morning when I spontaneously broke into a Night Ranger song.
Boy or girl, it will all be wonderful, as long as You Can Still Rock In America!
You’re never 41!
Congratulations! It’s a little miracle.
Hi Max, Congratulations!!! Things really do happen when you least expect them!! Now I understand why you’re not interested in the studio space :). Love you all!
xxkirst